I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
