OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
