I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
