The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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