guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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