what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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