So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
