went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg šš
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You know itās going to be a rough day when you scream āGet fuckedā at your alarm clock
Randomize
