That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize