So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize