Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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