sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
