i just google imaged poop.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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