So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The air was thick with penises
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
PANTIES FOUND
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