I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
birth control should be required to get into college
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
