How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
