He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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