I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need to align my fucking chakras
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize