aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Couch. On fire.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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