i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
