How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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