he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize