Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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