The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
