whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
