i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize