Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
