i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
