I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
