you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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