they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
