It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
