They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize