Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
