At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
