May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
