i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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