Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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