I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
