told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
