and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
