After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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