yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
