Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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