ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
