You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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