im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
