Swine flu. Run for my life!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
