Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
