I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
