Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
