I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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