I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
