I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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