i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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