remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
