i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
