Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
