Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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